My mind has remained blank for the past six odd hours, mainly due to the lonely period of respite, void of any form of useful brain activity. The first point of call for most early risers will usually be their sinks, clearing any debris accumulated in their buccal cavities. But for me, the white house on which most human beings ‘roost’ to lay brown eggs which seldom hatch (leaving room for the not so privileged folk), is my preferred haven for starting the day. Resting on this ancient plumbing fixture is one of life’s many pleasures easily forgotten about due to the nasty nature of the end result – faecal matter.
There is no denying the fact that this world would most definitely be drenched in stench if we were not privileged to have been blessed with this invention. A lot of noise is often made about the Wright and Warner brothers for revolutionizing the transportation and television (or cartoon) industries. Not forgetting the well-respected World Wide Web (www), its development being attributed to Sir Timothy Berners-Lee and the famous Alexander Graham Bell for inciting the widespread usage of his sound transmitter invention- also known as the telephone.
It may interest you to know that this indispensable tool came about as a result of Sir John Harrington’s hardwork in the 16th century, specially designed for the then Queen Elizabeth I. With the passage of time, further improvements came along to complement his efforts. It is interesting though because there’s no mention of his occupation from my research but I guess he was one hell of a toilet-maker, I mean, the knighthood buttressed his credentials.
It’s quite tempting to stay within the confines of the white house due to the unbelievable satisfaction derived from letting go of these heavy amounts of inward-generated loads. Funny enough, just like the issues of life, our seemingly chocolate-coated end products grow bigger as we caress the cheeks of time. I can only imagine how tiny they must have been when you were still a toddler. Now they’ve magnified into hot-dog sized khebabs, which thankfully seems to be the threshold level.
So the next time you decide to ease yourself on the white house, please bow your buttocks (or squat) and observe a moment of silence for the pioneers of this great indoor receptacle and waste removal system. I guess without it outbreaks of cholera would make the headlines and front pages on a daily basis.
Still roosting though, without enough buttery power.....
Written by : Kojo Essuman Ackah
(C) Copyright ~ 2011 All Rights Reserved
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