Tuesday, 20 June 2017
Besides the ponytail I forcibly created below my occipital bun, (yes, my famous rear cranial projection that many girls laughed at), I thought myself a rock star many times without count.
Using the broken handle from my badminton racquet, I would sing my heart out - whispering along while the radio provided the needed audio.
It was soo fun, I would disturb the knob as I constantly changed the station when annoying commercials set in. The only problem - the mimicry transcended music.
You know, just like when the mid-nineties installment of the Amazing Spider Man™ came out, I imagined webs shot from my palms and swung around the sitting room. Of course, my knees and ankles suffered as a result, thanks to the center table.
You know what, I miss those times. I didn't have a care in the world. No bills to worry about.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy adulthood - changing my passwords at every login, forgetting what multiplying matrices looks like, the gradually receding hairline, and more. Trust me, it's a thrill.
But there's something there I wish I had retained. Not sure what.
Monday, 12 June 2017
My breakfast is just too cold this morning. The PB&J sandwich Cori made is amazing, but I'd prefer it to have been just a tad warmer. I need my dose of calories till lunch time regardless. Maybe some radiation would speed up the process.
It might have been just two slices of bread and everything else in-between them. Maybe that's the trigger I needed - to remind myself that with all of the technology around me that heats without fire, renders phone calls quicker and telegrams faster, I shouldn't get sucked into the matrix.
It's quite subtle to pick up this. When everything comes streaming at you, i.e. news feeds on Facebook, notifications from everywhere, spilling-over inboxes full of subscriptions that we've forgotten about, etc. The list is endless. The habit of expecting the cookie to crumble at the speed of light is more than tempting - it just creeps up on you.
I'm not where I used to be, but I am far beyond where I was days ago.
Forgive me if this seems too slow for you. Good things take time, the length of which is a mystery.
We're the gold fishes swirling in that envelope of water, instead of the artifacts others gave you. And that costs more than pieces of silver...it costs time.
Thursday, 25 May 2017
You don't speak your father's language. Even your beginnings were dogged down with flagrant derogatory talk. You were told you didn't know how to do anything. Whenever you were asked to fetch a pair of pliers from the toolbox, you'd bring back the pincers instead.
You were taught how to change the tyres several times. But after nearly a decade you cannot replicate it. I guess he was right. There's nothing you know how to do.
Probably your French teacher was right too. You remember right? When he wouldn't give you a chance in the high school soccer team because he thought you were too short and smallish.
When you were seen as the outsider, though you encouraged yourself to prove yourself to yourself.
But despite the wannabe status, you pushed through to become a part of the science and math team. What an accomplishment! But really was it?
What's your value bro? What's your worth? Have you found it yet?
Or you're still what you were before? An unknown, even to yourself.
Fighting for acceptance, to be understood - to be accepted.
Are you enough?
Monday, 1 May 2017
I'm drowning my silent sorrow with a lot of noise. Whenever i re-lapse into my depressive state, I pray in my bathroom without thought of time, or I'd start sinning with some secular music playing from my broken laptop. Don't give me the hypocrite rhetoric. Not now.
Right now, the stalemate I'm looking at isn't changing. No matter how many routes of change I employ, both gnosis and epignosis.
Don't talk me into doing what will make you happy. I could explode now and the pain would lose its hold on me. You'd be happy that the pain left, but the prelude, not so much. Maybe I'm too emotional at the moment. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Or maybe you're giving up when the journey hasn't even begun yet.
Some didn't survive immediately after their flight begun, others have hung on despite the infidelity. Both, not our lot, but why this now? Be August...
Thursday, 30 March 2017
I can see you balling like a billionaire. But you're not immortal, like you've got a billion airs to breath. My body feels refreshed by the water from the standpipe. And after a while, it excretes itself with a different shade of yellow every time. The same happens after the many ''voltics'' you spend your endless cash flow on. Do you feel good so far? I'm not done...
You took my girlfriend away with your V8. My intents were pure, but she still told me she had needs like M.B. Now, she keeps calling - saying she wants me back. Was it because of the vee you ate? And maybe the promises you made that didn't suffice? Oh, mister man. You're married too. So one isn't enough for you? Is it ''keeking'' you? Let me finish you now...
The ''taaty'' billion in your account must be fiction. Yet, she bought it and made her skirt more mini to stake her claim on your eyes. Have you forgotten you met her at the Night Club, across the St. Vitus Chapel? You even imagined fake snow falling whilst you serenaded her. Now you see, what the fakes know and always have. You must be dreaming in your designer rags...
Monday, 27 March 2017
Just this Christmas, I visited family after such a long time of being away. And of course, I had to celebrate my birthday these past three years with my apartment mates - but without my family back home. Among the things I missed the most, was my grandfather's birthday card. Ever since I can remember, he's always showed me love that way and in many others as well.
The very day I arrived, I called my entire family into a group hug which lasted more than a thousand blinks. In that instant, all my anxieties from school disappeared.
But the single most heartfelt thing I experienced on reaching home, was finally seeing my kid sister who had been struggling with the rigors of high school life. I tried to encourage her and tell her things would get better. Her inability to reach me from school really hurt me, because I felt the need to speak with her everyday.
A few days after my arrival, she came home and got me awe-struck.
She gave me a customized bookmark, a birthday card and a hug. Besides apologizing for missing my birthday, what she wrote after got me tearing up - mind you, this isn't a usual fixture.
"I hope the Lord really blesses you for all you do.
You have really helped me through difficult times.
Mehn. Imagine how I felt.Words aren't enough.. I love you Ewurama.
Monday, 13 February 2017
So this time round, my convictions stand resolute. If it were possible, I would convince the whole world. But besides issues of convenience, I simply deem it unfit to do so. Howbeit, my heart is sure and stuck on this maadamfo papabi I've found.
You don't see this everyday. A beautiful friend embracing you with all of her precious stones. Some of which have either been unappreciated, or stolen by those referred to in the nearly forgotten past tense. Catching her isn't my only mission; keeping her and these stones - those too.
Lord, help me love my friend. Just like you've asked us to...